Over the edge - part 1

It was just another ordinary Bank Holiday Monday.

I read the Sunday Times, ate a bowl of Alpen …then got into my abseiling outfit (old trackies and walking boots) ready to do the most stupid thing I’ve ever done: climb down a cliff to raise money for the LAMRT and juice up a scene from Decent Exposure.

I knew things weren’t going to be easy when the CD started to play to ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ just at the moment it decided to hail in Biblical fashion. The car temperature gauge read 7^oC. This, for the benefit of readers from places like Brisbane and California our summer time begins officially in 22 days.

Like …yeah.

We were about five minutes from the weird yet magnificent outcrops of rock they call The Roaches. Some people may recall that Lizzy Bennet stands there, looking out serenely over the Peak District in the BBC Pride & Prejudice - in a full-length dress and corset no less.

The reality was somewhat different. The rain eased a little and we got out of the car. Phil Barber, my abseiling instructor (he’s the one with the ponytail) looked cheerfully unconcerned. Not surprising really, he has a Guinness Book of Records certificate for abseiling 878 feet off a TV mast. My OH (let’s call him Mr Bennet) was also doing his bit by offering to take the plunge too.

Some kind souls had already nabbed the ‘easy’ crag Phil had in mind, so we had one that as slightly trickier access. And as Phil pointed out, conditions were a bit ‘greasy’ (a technical mountaineering term, eh Phil?). If you’re been abseiling, you may not be that impressed by the height which we descended from. But from the top, with the rain lashing and my fingers numb with cold, it looked one hell of a long way down. No words can describe how scared I was. I was literally frozen with fear and that was just from trying to climb over the rocks to get onto the ledge. I actually wept with terror, I don’t mind admitting and I haven’t gripped a man’s hand so tightly since I gave birth to my daughter.

And did my bum look big in the harness?

YOU BET IT DID!